Someone once told me that all we have are our truths...
that said.. its time to get real.
I figured my 18 Peices of Me would be the realest moment I can offer a stranger.
I wrote this on Tuesday, July 28th 2009.
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 18 random things - shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 18 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
Wasn't even going to do this, but i was inspired by Josh's exposure of his inner self. It was a reminder that to real is to be brave. And for all those before me who have done this one....I stand and applaud you. So I hope you enjoy the lyrical photos that follow. Peace&love.
1. Reality scares the hell outta me. Not that I'm afraid of Death, I am in constant fear of Life. These are the moments I wish I could predict the future will my third eye and a catalog of experiences.
2. Words are the only thing I can offer, so I try to be as honest as possible...though sometimes I am caught up, tangled in my on ego, and lose my voice in the mess.
3. I truly am my worst critic. I usually think very little of my work, and find the reassurance in someone elses opinion instead of finding it in my own voice. I will do what I can to change this because as the days go by I look forward to possibility.
4. My neck hurts from positioning myself awkwardly in front(more on the side) of the tv for 4 hours straight. Playing the Xbox til 2:30 in the morning with Luck and Aaron. Because I am a nerd.
5. I have never used a thesaurus when I write. The vocabulary comes entirely from reading. Thus profanity is the Shit.
6. The truth is...without Annie I would be nothing that I am today. My words would mean so little to me. I have to thank her for the bold beautiful life I hope to live. She was the ex-girlfriend who made me become a better version of myself after the fact. Painful lessons and all.
7. I have found love that resides in poetry and music, and just life in general.
8.The grace of knowledge is overwhelming at times.
9. I am selfish, not with my wealth or in any other material aspect of posession, rather more with my emotions. It manifests itself in the selfishness of preserving life. I get edgy when the topic of religion surfaces because it is normally followed by the prophecy of the End of Man...thus I feel unusually threatened because I feel we should get a chance to live like our parents didn't.
10. Fear of losing my blessing over power me too. The voice I use in poetry is not of mine but His making and I have to embrace the fact that he can take that voice and these words at any time.
11. I used to wear glasses to impress this girl that I "fancied" when I was 9. Needless to say the $130 glasses didn't work, but where that life fails poetry succeeds.
12. I always think I spell succeed wrong, and say pregnant incorrectly; I always try to combine it with the word ignorant and vice versa. So there's this weird collaboration of sounds equating to pregnorent and/or ignant.
13. Keshia has defined the love of youth to me. Something angelic. She gives me something to compare Heaven too.
14. Though, I don't fear the death of myself, I do fear the death of people I love and care about. So when someone doesn't answer the phone or respond to me reaching out, I fear the worst. I think its some kind of complex I gained after losing my grandmother and older sister in the same week.
15. My grandmother will always remain my best friend, while my mom is a close second. They are the two women that reside in the undercurrent of My poetry<---thanks JB.
16. I'm very scattered brained, I lose a poetry book every month so I usually have to start over every time.
17. I have to pee really bad right now.
18. I am easily inspired and motivated. But love is the only think that guides me. I love everyone I encounter in this lifetime. And I really thank you for the memories and the love.
PEACE&love
Now the hard part....
Keshia: I dont really have to explain the reason you were tagged do I. I mean you are the love of my life and without you as my rock, my roots would not be full, I may grow. You are the best chapter my life's book has ever foretold.
Scott: you are truly my brother. I mean through poetry, through blood, through thick and thin can't even begin to express you vitality to my life. I love you Bubba. We are goin' to take over right. And the music you create inspire me, and I'm sure that when you make it, I mean really make it... it will do the same for the world. You are far to gifted to let the little things alter you blessings. It won't be tolerated if you give up.
Chels: Mrs. Miss, you are the love of scott's life. He looks at you with such beauty and amazement how can anyone else not. You are the sister I never had with african roots. lol. From Halloween, I knew you were going to be around for a while to come. lol that day symbolized that you were more than just scott's girlfriend, but more apart of my family than some of my real family. Keep him happy..k? or we WILL BE FIGHTING. lol
He@d: man. Golden Ruler. Kindegarden....enough said. lol nah but we go so far back that theres no way don't relate. That is the one time I was happy to get low test scores lol because without them we would have never met. You got a gift brotha. Keep the pen flowin' and the mics checked because yall goin somewhere.
Weaver: Boss. We got a history behind us to huh? You been my boy from the start. New kids on the block kinda start. Right hand then its just that we grew apart after graduation and thats my bad. You have such a lust for life that its outrageous. This is so you can remember to be vulnerable again. I've seen alot of tears outta you over the years and alot of push ups lol. Stories from the warehouse to the Shelly Shuffle. Go make history Rocket.
Taur: Taur!!! man i can even begin on this one. SB. the one and only. You have grown in my life like roots, and just knowing that I got a brother out there somewhere whos spirit is in sequence to mine is amazing. You are truly my other half, little big brother. We got so many issue that they can't believe....lol. This one is about the A's. and i don't mean angels. Don't let her slow you down and stop you from finding love again. With a cool guy like you, its bound to happen. I love you Sir.
Emily: Big Sis from the other miss. I love you wholeheartedly. You have become such a free force in my life you have given me memories that I will keep in a chest, located in between my heart and my soul. You have a beautiful soul. It speaks in your smile and waters the earth allowing peoples inner light to flourish. Thank you.
Joshua: Though I don't know you well yet... it was your vulnerability that made me write this note in the first place. I am a fan and a fellow poet who admires your greatness. And thank you for keeping me grounded in God. I am just a vessel right...lol Continue to move people like you've moved me and I know you will be an amazing teacher someday because you already taught me some lessons that are far too genuine. And I too out alot of thought into adopting a child one day. And I could only hope that my child finds his or her way into your classroom. Stay blessed brother.
Chris: Bra Brah. I still can't believe that you bit me. But its all good...lol. Twins for life. Youre straying kinda far and I hope this could be a catalyst toward giving you a ticket to come back to being as close as we once was. I know for a fact you will find your way to where your going, as long as you don't forget where you've been and where you come from.
Ronni: My love. My Darling. My sister. Though our DNA isn't a perfect match like you and Erica, you are another peice of the shards of me. You and I just fit and it wouldn't be right any other way. We were there in the worst and the best so don't think I'm going anywhere no matter how many miles are between us. Because to me you still live on Wayne Avenue and will continue to reside there in my heart.
You will find him..if you haven't already and just don't know it. Just take His hand and trust that he will steer you into his life. With love....Muah lol
Luckett, Ryu, B, Bert: lol man each one of these names act as a character of you. I see you through the anger, and the madness. And you see me through the tears and fears. I trust you will my words which is worth more than my life and because of that I hope that I have gained yours. Use this as tissue to wipe your eyes when that one single solitary tear falls and remember that being exposed is not being weak, but being powerful. So powerful it hurts your eyes so you release those drops of boldness. Remember the family God gives you is everlasting and you will never have to be alone.
Mr. President: With such a hard exterior don't be suprised I put your fraudulant ass in here lol. You are this kid from Detroit, with the lion on your chest that bares your heart and decepticon manuscript that explains your legacy. You have become a part of my family in such a brief time, its like you've always been there. Thank you. And know that its ok to attach your emotion to what you right, even if its not fierce like that lion caged inside of you. Believe me when I say that you will be amond legends.
Rob: G2...you are too damn crazy. Exposing your flaws and the flaws of those around you constantly could get you shot in some places but with me it puts you on a pedestal for being real. And that is a trait lost in many and found in few. You too are like the brother I never had. This is just another night at the card table for us. huh? Some of our purest moments. Aight company man! lol
Fav B: You truly are my favorite buddy. We know each others darkest hours. But you remain to be one of the brightest days for me. Love comes and goes, so when it comes look out for it, and use it. Just love to be loved, and with that you will find the happiness you've been looking for. I truly adore you fav. This is dedicated to some of the stuff you know and some of the things you didn't. I can't wait to see your 18.
Hip-Hop: Baby Blue. We are a hot mess with the L7s huh. But thats cool because it works for us. We are two puzzle peices in life. Both madly in love with hip hop and poetry. You are my soulmate in the form of a friend and thats harder to find in a soulmate in the form of a lover. So milk up your status. I appreciate the day I was told off by Wilma Flintstone lol. Keep writing love. Just keep writing and loving the world because they already love you back.
Mau: Man it was the quickest, coolest, dopest friendship I ever gained. And like that we were taken on different paths across the planes of life but like that we are reunited. I never had such a family before I met you guys at SCC, and that can never be replaced or changed. So let this be a beacon for those trying trials that leave us weak, naked, and in the cold. We need to hang while you are here blood brother ok.
Erica: Hun do you remember homecoming. Me....shaking in my new high top nikes like a boy in blue when I was supposed to dance with you. That was something that potentially determined the future of the Erica/Shon Saga. Lol. You are always my ace in the deck. We've had many moments and will have many more. Just love your you and no one else and you will succeed. Both in life and in love. You and V are of my blood. I always got you. If DaDa starts buggin I'll chin check him and turn him back over to you to mend his wounds. K? lol I wuv you too.
Eb: Man "are you cereal". lol. even though your are my baby cousin, you have always been the closest thing to a sister I saw, and in that I learned more from you than I think you did from me. I'm tearing up just thinking about you going off to school and being so far from me that I can't watch over anymore. But that said, I know you got this. Your smart, beautiful, and ready. You've been ready to make it, so just go for it. Don't hold back. And one day I come and visit you down in florida. I love you with everything I got. Just be safe K>.
And to everyone I didn't tag, that doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of you when I wrote this. Its just so many peices to my puzzle.
Thanks for reading. Post yours.
PEACE&love
Shon
